You Died (Again!)
by NeonZangetsu
Summary: Have you ever dreamed before, dear reader? Of course you have. We all do. Dreams are the stuff of life; they sustain us, haunt us, embolden us. I thought this was just that; a bad dream, some foul nightmare I'd wake from with the rising sun. It was not. I almost wish it was. In short? I died. Again. And again...! Bloodborne! Self Insert! Reviews are welcome! Pairing undecided.
1. Awakening

**A/N: Sekiro is.**

**Kicking.**

**My. **

**ASS.**

**COMPLETELY!**

**That aside, its quite a fun game but that BLOODY MONK is annoying. I don't find it too hard, its all the more enjoyable when I beat a boss. My only complain-and even this is a minor one-would be the amount of minibosses. Their's actually a fair amount of them, surprisingly.**

**Another game that has swiftly become near and dear to my heart is good 'ol Bloodborne; I may be late to the party but I'm enjoying the hell out of it alongside Shadows Die Twice. After much trial and tribulation I finally beat the Orphan of Kos as well as *spoiler* and *spoiler* now I'm well on my way through New Game Plus angling for one of the endings I didn't get.**

**Anyone care for some jolly cooperation?**

**But enough about me, you didn't come here for that.**

**So here were are, me taking a stab at a popular franchise and hoping to hell everyone likes it. Now, I did a Naruto version of this in the "Not Going Home" series, but then I received this request from someone-who has since asked to remain anonymous-and I thought I'd give it a whirl.**

**I think we can all agree that Bloodborne is one hell of a trip, no?**

**This story is inspired by the tale "Why Can't I Just Take The Ring After I Fight Atorias?" written by none other than Gensh. For anyone familiar with that mad-and brilliant!-bastard, well. There's an idea of where I'm taking this. Dark and serious of course, yet with its own distinct brand of humor as well.**

**Now, I proudly present for your viewing pleasure...**

**...YOU DIED (AGAIN!)**

**Sorry if its short~!**

_"Fear the old blood, they said!"_

_"Fear it, they said!"_

_"Feeeaaaar it!"_

_~?_

**Awakening**

Have you ever had a dream before?

What am I saying, of course you have! Most-if not all of us-experience dreams in one way or another. Then I'm sure you must know what its like to wake up from one; that fleeting moment when reality and fantasy blur and you're not quite sure where you are. You know what I'm talking about; that strange slightly euphoric high, that sensation of not _quite_ knowing where you are, yet not caring all the same?

That is a dream.

Some are lucid. Others are not. Some we remember. Others remain forgotten entirely upon our return to the waking world. We often go about our daily lives and pay them no further mind. Yet nevertheless that strange feeling of _something_ persists, as though we've had a grand adventure-or nightmare-that we can't quite recall, a thought lurking at the edge of our reality. Ah, but what is a dream but our innermost thoughts given shape and form? Our happiest moments, our greatest fears...

Yes, that would explain a number of things given my...situation.

My first inkling came in the form of a stiff back-what happened to my bed?-and a pounding headache.

Without thinking I rose up and promptly paid dearly for it; because the bed beneath me chose that moment to splinter like rotten driftwood and sent me tumbling to the floor in a writhing pile of arms and legs. Thankfully my head took the brunt of the impact. Wait. Was that good...?

"Anybody get the number of that bus...?"

A stabbing lance of agony sheared through my skull in response and I quietly clamped my right hand down upon it. Somehow, that only made the pain even worse. Gritting my teeth, I found was left with no recourse but to ride it out. Damnit, it felt like someone was trying go drive a spear through the back of my head! Was I injured? No? Panicking, frail hands flitted over my thin form. No? Face? Check. Eyes? Check. Beard? Still there. Praise the beard!

My last coherent memory consisted of an all-night session of Bloodborne with friends and then...

_...moonlight?_

Yet when I reached for the next chain of memory only darkness answered; a yawning void swallowing up all thought, all form, all semblance of sanity. Yet I couldn't help but dwell upon it. As though I were on the verge of a great epiphany, standing upon the precipice of change, and I need only take that last tottering step over the edge, make that fateful plunge-

Somehow my body realized what my inquisitive mind could not and jerked itself upright, hauling me to my feet and away from that strange haunting image.

With that I dared to open my eyes; not to fresh morning sunshine, but gloom.

A rather familiar gloom at that.

Silence reigned supreme.

_I knew this place._

How could I not? I'd seen it countless times, but always from a screen. Ingrained into my memory as surely as my own name. My mind balked at once, recoiling from it as surely as the plague itself. No. Nonsense. Surely I was dreaming. Yes! That must be it. Clearly I had too much Bloodborne on the brain. Now I was dreaming about it. Ha! That was my own damn fault, I supposed. If I wasn't playing Bloodborne, or writing Bloodborne, then I was dreaming about it. Nervous laughter bubbled up in my throat until I nearly choked on it.

But that niggling doubt persisted, burrowing like a worm in my gut.

Trembling hands fumbled at the nearest door, felt its sturdy frame as surely as any other. Warily, I pushed it open, flinching at the sullen creak that followed. Broken glass crunched beneath my boots as I gingerly forced the frame to part, wincing at every tiny crack. Ooh! A very realistic dream, then? Ha!

Surely I couldn't be hurt in a dream.

Right? Right?

...right?

As if to punish me for that horribly naive belief, the pungent scent of decay-of ruined flesh!-wafted up from below the stairs and hit me like a body blow. It banished all thoughts of dreaming to the winds. No dream could possibly smell like this; so foul, so reeking, so...wrong. Bile rose in my throat and I gagged, doubling over as my stomach waged war upon me. Against all odds I caught sight of myself in the shattered shards below, and my pale, admittedly stiff visage gaped back at me.

"Oh, no." my hoarse voice croaked out.

A brief cursory glance at my attire-very familiar attire!-merely confirmed my suspicions. On numb legs I tottered down the stairs, heart in my throat. Surely not. Surely this was just a bad dream, even if the smell, oh dear god the smell the smell, why is it so bad I can't _evenurkgonnabesick..._

With that the dawn finally broke and I nearly bit my tongue clear out of my mouth.

This time, I really did choke on the laughter. Mental breakdowns. Fun.

My hands tore at the hood concealing my face, to no avail.

"Noooooo no no no! Of all the places! Why here?!"

To my dismay, something answered.

The softest of growls, punctuated by the wet shucking sound of teeth tearing through bloated flesh. I froze, instinctively flattening myself against the wall, to no avail. Somehow, I knew what I would find there, just down the hall, its flea-ridden body stooped low over a ravaged corpse. It was by all accounts a beast. A foul, wolfish creature with its back to me, happily feasting upon the flesh of the slain.

That...thing was far larger than it should have been.

By my reckoning it should have been a flight of stairs down and very much _away _from me. Yet the longer I looked on the more certain I became. Either this was the most lucid fever dream I'd ever had-unlikely!-or against all odds I'd somehow wound up in a city of nightmares. My mind was far past point of denial now, it'd leaped right into the bargaining stage, pleading and whimpering for escape.

Why me?

Still, there was nothing to be gained by sitting there like an idiot; the beast would doubtlessly notice me if I lingered overlong. My first instinct was to creep back the way I came, but that way lay a locked door and no amount of pounding or shouting on my part would do anything to rouse the occupant beyond its threshold. Assuming there was one. The longer I lingered the more certain I became-fear choked the very life out of me, urging me to move, to do something, anything, because if that big bad bastard saw me...

In all fairness, I tried to sneak by.

I really, truly did.

Limited combat expertise aside, there was no way-no way in hell!-I was even going to _attempt _to take on a beast like that without a weapon. I was unarmed, unarmored, with no way of even _remotely _defending myself against those teeth, those claws, that slavering maw...

Unless one counted my fists.

As if I could spplex a fucking werewolf!

To my credit, I nearly made it past the furry bastard.

Slow steady steps carried me on a parallel path toward the beast, muted by the harsh crunch of broken bone and shattered sinew. I almost made it. Really, I thought the gods had finally smiled upon me, that whatever I'd done to offend them, to find myself here in this dream-nightmare-reality had finally been forgiven and oh thank goodness...

...creak.

Then a board groaned traitorously beneath one of my boots. I froze. I'm sorry. I simply couldn't help myself. Every fiber of my being clamped down, refusing to budge so much as an inch. In the end, this sealed my fate. Amidst that horrible, awful realization that I'd blundered, I heard rather than saw the beast move. I had time enough for a single moment of mind-numbing towering terror as warm, fetid breath brushed the back of my neck. Once again my entire body tensed up against my will-and wouldn't that just make things worse?-but against my better judgement, I raised my hands.

"Look, I'm really sorry about disturbing your meal, so can you just let me go-ACK?!"

I had just enough time to yelp as the beast barreled into me.

My throat was torn out in short, spectacular order.

I didn't even have enough time to scream.

My final, suffering sight was thus:

A familiar pair of red letters.

_YOU DIED._

**A/N: And so begins my first attempt at a Bloodborne tale.**

**I debated long and hard about this, and in the end, I decided to go with a self-insert story, if only because I want to try something for a new perspective. A "Hunter" who isn't really a Hunter at all, simply someone with a wealth of game knowledge, a snarky sense of humor, and a saw blade...**

**...I'm gonna have a bad time, aren't I?**

**And yes, the character's description suits me to a T;**** in real life I'm absurdly tall I keep bashing my head on low doorways.**

**Well, I've said about all I have to say. Hope you'll join me for this journey.**

**So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

**...Review...Would You Kindly?**

**And enjoy the previews!**

**(Previews)**

_I'd blundered._

_"REEEEEEEEEEEE!"  
_

_"Nononoshitfuckcraaaap!"_

_The Cleric Beast beat me to death in short order._

_"Welcome home, good hunter." a familiar voice tugged me from the void._

* * *

_Fear?_

_Funny thing about game physics._

_They REALLY don't apply in the real world._

_In short? I climbed that damn gate faster than a certain mad spider._

_After all, fear of one's imminent demise, however transient, can be an EXCELLENT motivator._

* * *

_"Mister Hunter?"_

_My mouth opened..._

_...and promptly clicked shut._

_After a moment's consideration, I turned my back._

_"Fuck it. Hop on my back and I'll take you there myself."_

**R&R~! =D**


	2. Better Get Ready To Die

**A/N: Someone said I only update Naruto stories these days.**

**Oh?**

**Oho?**

**Ohoho?! ****WHAT SAY YOU NOW?!**

**Now, I could prattle on and on about the updates that I have coming for my other tales, but that would be telling now, wouldn't it? I think I'll stay quiet on that front and surprise you, dear readers. After all, what is life but one big surprise?**** I was going to wait another week on this bad boy and update everything at once, **

**So here, have something light, funny, and altogether entertaining in these crazy times.**

**Now, I proudly present for your viewing pleasure, the next chapter of...**

**Lets try and save some people, eh?**

**...YOU DIED (AGAIN!)**

**Sorry if its short~!**

_"Nopenopenopenope! Not fighting that! NOPE SANDWICH!"_

_~?_

**Better Get Ready To Die**

_"I am speed!"  
_

Have you ever run from an angry mob before? No? How about one with torches and pitchforks? Really? Me neither. Alright, lets try something else. Ever been dragged into a From Software game against your will only to be forced to die, die and DIE all over again? Anyone out there? Nobody? Not even one?

First time for everything, I suppose.

"Run awaaaaaaaaay!"

Fear is an excellent motivator. Fear tells us when we're in danger. Fear keeps us alive. Fear currently had me bloody booking it down the lane with my coat on fire. So, yes. I am speed. Legs pumping, arms scything the air like mad blades, I ran with all my might. I had one goal. One objective. One singular purpose in this god-forsaken, eldritch infested game that I'd been sucked into. You'd be forgiven for thinking that was running. You'd also be wrong.

"There he is! After the rotten glob!"

Armed with a saw cleaver and my trusty blunderbuss, I didn't dare fight. Muscle memory might well be a thing in this game, but I wanted _no part_ of the swarm hounding my heels. Would you?!

Bounding over an upturned cart, leaping over a pair of rabid dogs, I lobbed a Molotov cocktail over my shoulder and hurtled toward what I prayed was safety. This time, a silver bullet didn't slam into my back. This time, I didn't trip. Against all odds, I actually made it through the arch, past the crows, and into the plaza proper. Huh. Neat. Third time really _is_ the charm the charm.

I was still congratulating myself when warm, fetid air brushed the back of my neck.

Against my better judgement, I turned around. And looked up.

Up again.

Up.

"Oh, bugger."

I can proudly say that I didn't faint in the face of this threat. Nope. Not all. Perhaps the lizard part of my brain knew that passing out here was a bad idea. Perhaps I'd become so inured to the idea of death that it simply ceased to face me. Maybe I was just scared shitless. Who can say? My legs wheeled me backwards until I slammed against a gate. Crap.

Giant with a brick, my brain babbled, offering no help whatsoever. Giant with a brick!

Said brick swung at my face. A very unmanly shriek leaped from lips.

_Funny thing about game physics._

They REALLY don't apply in the real world.

In short? I scaled that damn gate faster than a certain mad spider.

After all, fear of one's imminent demise, however transient, can be an EXCELLENT motivator.

A heavy swing smashed into my back as I reached the top of the grate. Caught unawares I toppled forward and found my face made intimate with the cobblestones in a way that no one, man, hunter, or otherwise could possibly desire. Ironically, falling saved my life. My limbs took on a life of their own and I scrambled backward like a drunken crab, dragging myself out of sight. Thankfully, big, burly and his brick couldn't follow me, and after a few moments of mindlessly bashing said brick against the gate, I heard him give up.

Turns out proceduraly generated enemies stop chasing you once you break line of sight. Who knew?

Sheathed in sweat and blood and trembling from head to toe, I somehow managed to stand. I wasn't sure if I laughed or sobbed in relief. Gods, I felt sick. Did I need to eat this game? Didn't want to. Felt like I was about to puke. I wasn't ready for this, I wanted no part of this, and two deaths had already solidified my dislike of dying. Death might have no meaning here for me, but the pain remained.

When I rounded the corner, my head conked against a familiar red lantern.

"What the hell?!" I groaned. "Why does this always happen to me?! Am I cursed or something?!"

_"Hello?"_ A light, lilting voice - a child's voice!- reached my ears from the building and the window attached to it. Or was it the other way around? "_Is someone out there? Is that you, Daddy?"_

My very being locked up as I clamped a hand over my mouth.

Originally, I hadn't meant to run this way, but my panic had driven me up and over the first gate I'd found. I knew who this was. Everyone did. Every hunter, gamer, or what have you, knew how her story ended. Girl asks you to look for her parents. Girl gives you a music box. Mommy dies. Daddy dies. Girl tries to go to the cathedral. Girl gets eaten by a pig. Girl dies a horrible death.

All because of you. The Hunter.

Damnit, Miyazaki. You're a cruel bastard.

_Turn around,_ my brain gibbered. _Run. Don't say a word to her. Just turn around and walk away._

_"Who...are you?"_ the child's voice came on again, muffled by the window, yet still plucking at my heartstrings. _"I don't know your voice, but I know that smell. Are you a hunter?"_

...yes." Damnit, brain!

_"Oh!" _a startled cry greeted that word, ringing with painful hope._ "You ARE a hunter! I knew it! Will you please look for my mum? Daddy never came back from the hunt, and she went to find, but now she's gone, too...I'm all alone...and scared..._

I was going to walk away when the window pane creaked open.

_No!_ a tiny voice in my head hissed. _Ignore her! Resist! Walk! Away! Now!_

She really was a tiny little thing. Small and thin enough to squeeze an arm through the bars protecting her window, if not her whole body. Bright green eyes blinked back at me from a round oval face framed by dark hair, her frail form wrapped in a red dress bearing a bright white bow. Huh. She really did look like her mother. Her mother, who was even now about to die. I didn't quite know when Gascoigne killed her, only that he did in a fit of madness. And here I was, a lowly level one, contemplating something terribly foolish. Terribly, horribly foolish.

Maybe there was time. Maybe I could change things. Maybe...maybe...!

"Mister Hunter?" she turned those wide green eyes on me, and I was lost. "Do you know where my Mum is?"

"I...

My mouth opened...

...and promptly clicked shut.

After a moment's consideration, I turned my back.

_"Fuck it. Hop on my shoulders and I'll take you to her myself."_

**A/N: PLEASE READ THIS NOTE, WOULD YOU KINDLY?**

**Well, this could end spectacularly...or poorly. Depends on your reviews, I suppose.**

**Felt good to get away from Naruto stories for a bit -no, I'm not abandoning them!- and write something a little more down to earth. Well, as down to earth as Bloodborne can be. Even years after its release I find myself coming back to it sometimes, even **

**Sadly, this is one of my least popular stories, so I'm not expecting all that much in the way of reviews...but it would mean the world to me.**

**Well, I've said about all I have to say. Hope you'll continue to join me for this journey.**

**So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

**...Review...Would You Kindly?**

**And enjoy the previews!**

**(Previews)**

_Gascoigne lunged._

_I brandished the music box like a cleaver. "Back! Baaaaack!"_

* * *

_"Wait, wait, wait...I CAN BE INVADED?!"_

**R&R~! =D**


End file.
